I want to cut so bad. I can feel where the blade wants to dance. but I won't. my blade to me is like liquor to an alcoholic; a drug to a junkie. I'm like them. but I am sober. the temptation is there. always. there. but I will love and respect myself and keep my blade at bay. I have to learn to deal with that addiction. and I have for the most part. it's hard. it's my drug. I love and respect myself. my body has done nothing to hurt me so why should I hurt it? and my therapy has been to write this. there. all better.